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The Case of the Cockatoo Caper She was pretty--pretty in that tropical way that always makes me think of palm trees, white sand beaches and tall drinks holding tiny umbrellas and lots of rum. But even though she looked exotic, she'd always been a homing pigeon at heart, so when my favorite cockatoo, Melanie, turned up missing from the vet med teaching hospital, I knew she hadn't flown the coop on her own. It was no surprise to me when I heard she'd been bird-napped, and I knew the vet school would need the services of yours truly--Deuce Oxnard, bird detective. Setting aside the conundrum of the murder of crows, I got on the case right away, hanging out at the UC Davis Police Department to see if I could pick up any leads. I had plenty of theories to trade for information, but nobody seemed to be interested in my suspicion that this caper was linked to the Feather Dusters, the nefarious underworld gang that abducts young and attractive birds like Melanie and turns them into housecleaning tools. I've been pursuing them for years. I was just about to contact Heathcliff, one of my stool pigeons, to see if he'd picked up any kernels of information when the cops broke the case. Turned out to be a local caper, after all. Seems the suspect, arrested on suspicion of burglary in an unrelated case, asked a friend to feed his pets while he was cooling his heels in the county lockup. Once at the apartment, friend found not only the suspect's cat and two lovebirds but our gal Melanie, perched on the back of the couch. Friend recognized her from the news stories and called the vet school staff who then called the campus police. So the case is closed. Melanie, her feathers unruffled and her little bird belly newly full after her day or so on short rations, is back at work at the vet med teaching hospital, helping instruct vet students in basic care, husbandry and behavior of parrots. As for me, Deuce Oxnard, bird detective, I'm back in my office, resting up; even now, the Feather Dusters could be hatching some diabolical plot. Free throw nets reg fee check
That's what happened to first-year student Michael Penna, who was one of eight contestants vying for the top prize in February's contest sponsored by the chancellor's office, ASUCD and the UCD Bookstore. Each contestant had 40 seconds to complete four different shots--a layup, a free throw, a shot from three-point territory and a shot from half court--with each completed shot earning increasingly valuable prizes, culminating with the grand prize, that reg fee check, courtesy of the chancellor's budget. Penna, who played four years of basketball and earned eight letters in five different sports while at Aptos High School, said he was "extraordinarily nervous" out there on the court. Scared he'd lose control of the ball, "I didn't even dribble," he said; "I just wanted to make the three-pointer," which would have earned him a $50 sweatshirt from the bookstore. Having landed that shot, Penna had three seconds left on the clock to make the toss from half court, scoring just as the buzzer sounded and setting off wild cheering from the crowd.
UC Davis on the White House Web It's nice to be recognized in high places, especially if what's being recognized is something you're proud of, anyway. Such is the case with the appearance on a White House Web page of the campus's "Principles of Community." The campus statement embracing diversity and freedom of expression and rejecting discrimination has been selected as a "promising practice" by the panel of President Clinton's Initiative on Race. Also cited are UC Davis' Office of Campus Diversity, Cross Cultural Center and Cultural Days programs. The Web page lists more than 300 community practices nationwide aimed at improving race relations. Janet Gong, assistant vice chancellor for student affairs, who submitted the information on UC Davis, counted only 23 of those 300 that involved colleges and universities. "I think our inclusion is a nice accomplishment and a good representation for the UC system," Gong said. The Web address is <www.whitehouse.gov/Initiatives/OneAmerica>. Be sure to use both upper- and lower-case letters, as shown. Passing time: 75 years ago The sweatshirt is a garment used by most athletic teams in cold weather but, when it comes to using one about the campus, in houses or for wearing apparel to classes [and] meals, we are following the line of least resistance and setting aside self pride [just] because other fellows wear them. . . . The dirtier and more odoriferous they become, the more cherished and with greater pride is worn this filthy relic. Some of us are so proud of this equipment issued by the athletic department that they have to wear them about the streets of Sacramento. This is going too far because on the back is printed "California Aggies," and advertising of this nature is a set-back to our hard-earned, good name on the athletic field. -- The California Aggie * |
How about this for a plan to pay your way through school: Go to an Aggie basketball game, catch one of the balls tossed into the crowd at halftime and be a winner in the first-ever "Executive Shot" contest, netting yourself a check for $1,383--just exactly the total of your spring quarter reg fees.
Asked if his winnings would mean a blow-out vacation over spring break, Penna said no. "The majority of my school funding is through loans," he said, "so this will go toward paying some of it back."