The brand-new college student receives many things—new shoes, a first microwave, extra long sheets—but most of all, the new student receives advice. The first round comes in high school graduation speeches, the second in parental good-byes, but the most useful advice—from students who have “been there”—is sometimes hard to come by.

That is why my daughter, a college senior, e-mailed her friends at half a dozen universities a few months ago, asking about their freshman experiences, to help her prepare a College Survival Guide for her younger brother who heads off to college this fall.

Even though she sent her e-mail in the middle of the final exam period, responses poured in. Advice-giving, it turns out, is not only everyone’s favorite activity but also an excellent form of procrastination.

The advice that follows was written by students for students, but as parents we can “listen in” and perhaps, at the right moment, pass on something useful to our children.

Here, in their own words, is the advice of my daughter and her friends.

Academics

Choose your classes based on professors. I know it sounds silly, but no matter how interesting “human sexuality with lab” sounds, it will be torture without a good prof. Professors make the class, so don’t be afraid to ask around and get the scoop on them.

Sit in the front row (or the first few rows). Otherwise, there are a hundred people in your line of vision, distracting you.

Take a variety of classes when you first get to college. There’s plenty of time to specialize later. Explore the options and make sure you’re studying the subject that appeals to you most.

Try to make friends with at least one person in every class. It’s nice to have someone who can tell you what’s going on if you miss a class. And if you don’t understand something, you have a way of gauging whether you are a complete moron or the teacher is actually speaking in gibberish.

Be a research assistant. Go to the faculty Web page for your department, read about the professors’ research interests, and contact them about working in their lab. The earlier the better.

Friends

The first two suggestions come from a college senior described by my daughter as “one of the most successful people at making friends.”

Meet people, meet people, meet people. The first few weeks/months are key to meeting people. It’s when you can sit down at a table with people you don’t know and start a conversation. You’ll never be able to really do that again. Plus, everyone is looking for friends. It’s a great time to make them. So don’t sit in your room alone, but go out and meet people in your hall and all around campus. Believe me, it will be worth it later.

Don’t date anyone your first month in college. Yes, it’s tempting, but don’t do it. First of all, there’s a good chance it won’t work, and you’ll have to go through four years of “You went out with her?! What were you thinking?” Also, even more important, it takes you away from meeting people, which should be your top priority.

From my own daughter, who spent too much time alone freshman year, comes this suggestion: Buy a rug for your room and a few floor pillows. Make your room a comfortable place to hang out. Keep your door open as much as possible. (All things she admits she didn’t do.)

Dorms

If you didn’t start saving quarters for the laundry machines at age 9, you need to start immediately!

Always check for toilet paper before you use the restroom in the dorms.

The communal bathroom is the best way to meet people. You can’t brush your teeth next to someone all year without exchanging names.

Wear flip-flops in the shower. (Think of all those people using the same stall!)

Lock your door at night or else some drunk guy will enter your room and pee in your recycling bin. No kidding. (My own daughter wrote this one, so I know the story is true. She and her roommate were disgusted, but unharmed.)

Do favors for your roommate and hope to be repaid.

Do not eat dorm food on Saturday or Sunday. (My daughter adds, “And Friday night.” She explains that this advice has something to do with substitute cooks, leftovers and students leaving for the weekend.)

When you go to a meal, round up other people from your floor—no one likes to eat alone.

Writing independently of each other, a pair of roommates who have successfully navigated three years together at UC Berkeley provided the next two items. Both write about claiming personal space. One focuses on physical space, the other on psychic space.

Says one: Make sure you arrange your dorm room so that you have your own space, however small.

Says the other: Figure out when your freshman roommate(s) will be gone every week, and when they’re gone, bask in contented solitude.

Good sense

Get a job at a computer lab or anywhere else where 90 percent of the time you’re sitting around doing what you wish and 10 percent of the time you’re helping other students.

Never take a huge class load in one semester. Always leave time for a job, internship, club or research position.

Keep a list of emergency phone numbers: your resident adviser, the police, health services, maintenance and whoever can let you back into your room when you lock yourself out.

Get out of your routine every now and then and walk into a new building, explore a new part of campus or pick up a ringing pay phone.

Parent suggestions

No parent listens to kid-to-kid advice without wanting to throw in a little of his or her own perspective. In a spirit of equal time, I solicited advice for my son from the adults who attended his graduation party.

Because we live in Davis, some of the advice-givers were UC Davis faculty members, while others spoke from their own memories of college.

Get to know your intuition. Then follow it even when you’re tempted to argue with its directions. (Evelyn Lewis, professor of law)

Study during the day and sleep at night. (P.K. Bhattacharya, professor of statistics and parent of two college grads)

As a professor, my advice is to attend all your classes and to see each professor if you are having some questions about lectures. We’re there to teach and assist students. (Harry Kaya, professor of entomology and nematology. He adds, “I wish more people would come to office hours.”)

Freshman year is difficult for many people. Don’t expect every moment to be delightful.

Have a cell phone, call home often and be prepared to hear from your parents often, even when you are in class!

Never sell your soul for a grade.

Remember that it’s always better to go to school than to go to work. So, study long and hard and enjoy your college years as long as you can.

Be open to anything and everything. You have a unique opportunity to explore to your heart’s content—don’t miss a thing!

Be true to who you are and do what you feel is right.

Enjoy college. Four years go by so fast!

If you detect a higher proportion of practical wisdom from the young people and a hint of nostalgia from their parents, you are not alone.

Marion Franck is a Davis writer and regular contributor to campus publications for parents. She thanks her daughter, Beth Lew, whose idea it was to create a College Survival Guide and who gathered most of this material.