Helicopter Parents

By Kathleen Holder

For Fred Wood, interim vice provost for undergraduate studies, one of the first signs of a generational shift among UC Davis students was the level of involvement of their parents.

“It is much more common to get calls from adults, saying ‘I don’t want my daughter to know that I called. Could you look into this and see that she is OK?’” said Wood. “At summer advising, I hear things like ‘We’ve decided to major in this.’”

Nationwide, campuses are experiencing an increase in “helicopter parents,” who seem to hover over their offspring and participate in decision-making in their daily lives. Engaged in their children’s education since preschool, some parents are filling out college and housing applications, helping to choose courses and majors and trying to smooth the bumps of college life.

“I tend to use the phrase ‘parents as personal trainers.’ It’s more than just hovering,” said Wood. “In deans’ offices, it’s much more common to meet a student and have a parent sitting there join the meeting as well. “The student says: ‘I invited my parents to the meeting because I think it would be good for them to hear how I am doing.’”

Wood ’80, Ph.D. ’84, himself a Baby Boomer dad to three Millennial Generation children, said that, on the upside, students enjoy greater camaraderie with their parents than his generation did. “They’re more apt to share, more apt to call, more apt to discuss and ask for advice.”

On the other hand, Wood, other campus officials and even some students say that many undergraduates seem unaccustomed to tackling problems on their own.

Diane Russell, associate director of Student Housing, said she gets calls from parents who ask her to help resolve their offspring’s conflicts with roommates. “We try to get across to the parents that we’re more than happy to look into the specific issues and work with their students to help them resolve their issues. But they need to allow that to happen.

“For the most part, this group of students is very smart, and they have tremendous skills and abilities,” Russell said. “But sometimes I think their confidence might be lacking if they haven’t had the opportunity to solve conflict themselves.”

Anita Poon, student affairs coordinator for the Asian American studies program, said for children of immigrant parents the situation is sometimes reversed. They often become leaders in their families, translating for their parents and handling legal and business matters. “There are students who can’t participate in anything on campus because they have to go home to help with the family business or family commitments.”

But, like Echo Boomers, they face parental pressure on their choice of majors and career paths.

“There’s an invisible third party called parent expectations in that academic advising partnership,” Poon said.

When she meets with students who are trying to get reinstated after failing, “Almost always it comes up: ‘I was in the wrong major.’ Why were they in the wrong major? ‘My parents wanted me to be a doctor, engineer or major in managerial economics.’”

Janice Morand, a coordinator for the Internship and Career Center who advises science and health students, said she often talks with biotechnology and pre-med students who want to change majors. Besides wanting information about other career options, they ask her: “How do I tell my parents?”

Making a difference

Paying the way

Plays well with others

Stressed and depressed

A shift to the left

In the spirit

Beyond black and white

Born to be wired

Where’s my job?

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Kathleen Holder is associate editor of UC Davis Magazine. David Owen and Joanna
Robinson contributed to these stories. Photos by Debbie Aldridge and Rachel Van Blankenship.